Ooh, each morning I get up I die a little

[heavenforsake]

Comments

[heavensake]

Good wordy or bad wordy?

[liquidsky]

Look.

It's all metaphors.

I barely know what you are trying to say and I KNOW what you are trying to say.

[heavensake]

So I should ... I should rework it more?

I wanted to go for casual and friendly with a hint of artistic expression.

Hence my poem.

[liquidsky]

Aziraphale.

Our family takes the bible literally. They won't understand your poem. They will think you are actually turning into a butterfly before they'll understand that you are coming out to them.

[heavensake]

I see. You have a good point.

I just don't know how to do it best. I don't wish to burn bridges but I do wish to be clear and final with it all. But also I don't want to be too blunt about things.

[liquidsky]

So you don't want to do it my way, is what you are saying.

[heavensake]

Swearing and yelling and never seeing them again?

Well, mostly, yes.

[liquidsky]

I can feel your disapproval radiating, but you've no idea how good that felt back then. How good it still feels.

Have you thought about a very simple note? Maybe set yourself a word limit.

[heavensake]

Yes, yes, smart. It's just hard.

I want to do it this week. I set myself a deadline. By the weekend.

I wish to be out by then. In every sense of that phrase.

[liquidsky]

You can come stay with me.

Why the sudden rush? I welcome it. I'm surprised, however.

[heavensake]

Thank you.

I don't know exactly.

I met a man. Just to clarify, it was not romantic but he said something to me that I can't shake and I believe he was right. I must do this now or I'll never do it and how sad is that?

[liquidsky]

Not romantic. I see. Was it a handsome man, by any chance?

What did he say?

[heavensake]

Well yes, he's ridiculously handsome but that was just my curse to bear. It wasn't his looks, it was the way he spoke.

He told me that I could be wanted. And it is a small thing to say but we were talking a lot and... maybe I want that. To be wanted by someone and loved by someone. Maybe books aren't enough.

[liquidsky]

There's something exhilarating about being wanted for who you are and what you're choosing to express.

Someone like you should have someone. I agree with that.

Loneliness kills slowly.

[heavensake]

I sometimes wonder if I'm not strong enough. If this is a test and I am failing. But I do not think God could be this cruel.

And if he is this cruel, I don't think I like him much.

This God, he would not love you. And therefore, I would... not love him either.

[liquidsky]

If God is real, he can fuck off.

Look what he's done to you.

Stop believing in what makes you miserable, Aziraphale. You were always such an optimist. Always smiling. Believe in what makes you happy.

[heavensake]

I believe in love. Love is beautiful and good, no matter what people say.

If I was daring and brave, if I was impulsive, if I no longer have God on my side - will I still be loved, dear brother?

[liquidsky]

I don't love you for God's sake. Nobody worth your notice does.

If love is conditional, it's worthless. Worse than that. If love is conditional, it takes a toll on you.

[heavensake]

I never loved you with condition. I always loved you.

I am rewriting my letter now. Can I send it to you again?

[liquidsky]

You are a rarity.

Send it. Keep it brief.

[heavensake]

Dear family,

I'm afraid I'm too queer to remain here.
I will not come back.
Please don't contact me.

Aziraphale.

[liquidsky]

Perfection.

When are you coming over?

[heavensake]

Is tonight too late?

If I don't do it now, I never will.

[liquidsky]

Do you need me to pick you up?

I can be there in half an hour.

1/?

[heavensake]

Half an hour. Yes. Yes, I can do that