They were hiding - they were always hiding, it was just the way it was for them. If his family found out, he didn't even know what would happen, nevermind the school and all the teasing they'd do. No, this was just easier for everyone. The two of them, alone, datinf privately and quietly, away from everyone.
Literally. They were around the back of the school and not the nice part with the bench and the view because, everything else aside, that was where the local ruffians smoked their marijuana. No, they were around the back where the chain fence was, listening to the lunch food getting delivered, near where the cardboard recycling was stored.
And yes, it did smell horribly of wet cardboard and everything was dripping but hey, they were holding hands.
"Dunno yet. Might pop out to go to the store. Not a lot of stuff to do, is there?" They were holding hands, which was nice. Crowley didn't feel the need to state that this was nice, because it wasn't all that nice. Somewhere more dry would be nicer. Somewhere they could sit down.
Whatever. He slid his free hand into his inside pocket and produced the box of pocky he had bought the other day. "Do you want to share? It's chocolate. You like sweet stuff..."
Liked food in general and didn't get to eat a lot of sweets, from all he knew of his family, so he had gotten it for that reason. Well, that and one other reason. "There's a special way to eat these."
"I don't know. It's not Easter..." And he was only allowed to eat chocolate for Easter, officially. Gabriel said he snacked too much and they were currently doing a whole low sugar, low salt, low... food thing. He assumed it was a budget thing as well but they weren't allowed to discuss money. Or he wasn't allowed to discuss money, he knew they discussed it all the time. He eyed up the food and the idea of chocolate excited him and made him feel horribly guilty in equal measure.
"I suppose one or two wouldn't hurt." Or three or four or half the box. Whatever. He was a sinner already anyway, might as well eat something nice too. "How does it work? They're awfully -- stick like."
Interesting. He hadn't seen that before. He looked at the box and cocked his head to the side. "Well, be my teacher - show me."
"Like this." Crowley got one of the sticks out of the box and put it into his mouth, then gestured to Aziraphale so he'd come closer. Talking like this was difficult, but he tried his best. "Eat from the other side!"
Hey, he wanted to get a bit of affection and kissing in. Aziraphale looked as if he could use it, but it could be difficult to persuade him. Crowley imagined that when there was chocolate to go alongside it, he'd be too preoccupied with enjoyment to feel all the guilt come crushing down until later.
It was a bit strange. And unfortunate. There would be -- lips. Close lips. And he wasn't sure if this was even real. But he wanted the chocolate and he didn't want to be rude. And he could kiss ... without meaning to, of course, but he could. Just a little. No one would see it.
Looking left and then right, he pushed himself. And yes, it was awfully odd but he got to eat chocolate. Chocolate and a quick kiss. Almost. Kind of. Their lips definitely brushed. He pulled away, blushing and looking away, eyes wide because what if someone saw. God was always watching... which was creepy. Why was God watching this? He cleared his throat. "That was -- good. I liked it. The chocolate, I mean." And the kiss.
"I liked it too," Crowley agreed, "Very pleasant. We should try some more." He was already reaching for another of the sticks, amused and pleased that this was working so well. He wished there were easier ways, but hey. This was something. And maybe if he got enough into Aziraphale he would stop making his miserable hunger face.
With another not!kiss done and another stick eaten, Crowley remembered that he should also ask, even if he didn't expect and interesting answer there. "What are your plans today?"
"Well, I had a stack of books but we have no lights in the house and the candles are only for service so ... I've been getting very into meditation. It's, uh, it's nice. It's my new thing." Which was that when the sun set at 7ish, he lay on his bed and tried to think positively and talk to God. Mostly he was asking why he had to be cold and in the dark lately. And why, oh why, had he been doomed to be in love with a boy like this? He was in love with Crowley. Anthony J Crowley.
He was madly, stupidly in love with Anthony J Crowley.
Why was God testing him? Probably because of his weak will. Probably become he ate another pocky and kissed the boyfriend he shouldn't even have. Aziraphale decided it was best to not eat any more, making small distance and shaking his head at the next offer because it was unwise to damn himself two fold in one day. "As you say, not much going on around here, is there?"
"Huh. That sounds bleeding boring, doesn't it? What the hell you doing that for?" He supposed to lack of option. No lights, no electricity. Damn, he wished he could do something to help out Aziraphale, but what could he... Well, nothing. Aziraphale was stepping away from him, not too surprising, clearly they had reached the high point of the guilt spiral again.
It was so difficult. And he'd known it would be, but sometimes it still made him want to sigh and always it made him angry. Whatever. He couldn't despair over this. "I could pick you up, you know. Meet you outside your place, we could go somewhere together."
Huh. "Just us. All secret, no worries." Where would they even go? Limited places, but he'd think of something somehow.
"I don't know." Guilt spiral and all, it was making it hard to think of doing anything but then, the fear of Crowley being out without him was also looming in his head too. What if he went out to a party again or something? Went out with Felix, that stupid alpha gay with his tight jeans and boldness. He was out and he had no fears, he was handsome too and yesterday, in math class, he gave Crowley a pencil. And Crowley chewed that pencil.
They basically kissed! And if he wasn't kissing Crowley, he might be kissing someone else. Like tight pants Felix. And look, Crowley was frowning. That judgement frown. Crowley would get sick of him and go off with all the other handsome gays in town if he didn't do something fast.
"We could go to the park!" Okay, maybe he yelled that a little loud but he was not willing to be defeated. "Go to that one bench we like. Near the ducks!" Aziraphale tried, desperate to make it seem exciting so Crowley wouldn't want to go to some ... gay burlesque evening or whatever. "If it rains, there's always the bandstand! I could bring something fun for us to do. We could -- oh! I have travel uno." Exciting stuff.
When he was heading down the road on a Saturday morning, he wasn't expecting to come across his little brother. He wasn't really expecting to come across anyone, he was just out early himself to get some groceries and get food for whenever Bill would wake up, because after the partying they had done last night, he was bound to be ravenous.
Barty was never one for sleeping much, so he was up and out and about. Aziraphale wasn't really supposed to be either out nor about. Especially not out, he knew how concerned the family was about that. He slowed down the car, so sure it had to be him. The curls were kind of a give away. Barty lowered his window and called out. "Aziraphale?! Where are you headed?"
To say that Aziraphale looked shocked to be discovered was an understatement. He looked positively horrified. He was not proud of himself for how he did things these days but he had to be with Crowley or he would lose him. So he had learned how to escape from the window, how to not damage his ankles while doing it and what time was best to leave. 7am was the best time to get ready and slip out so it was almost 8am and he honestly hadn't expected to come across anyone from his family. It was too late for Gabriel, he started running at 5am - and again at noon - and Sandalphon didn't emerge properly until around 11am. Everyone either emerged very early or late. Never in the middle.
Usually he could slip out, avoid getting deterred and then apologies later and say he had to return library books. The issue wasn't getting in trouble after, it was the actually getting out. If he got caught mid-escape, then it was most unfortunate.
And yet, here he was, caught mid-escape by his 'former' brother who no longer wished to engage with them and still was here, ruining his moment of triumph. "Bartemius. I, uh, I -- fetching the paper, I-- Hello." Fuck. "I'm just out. I'll be home in a second." Darn it.
"Uh-huh. Sure, likely story. Come in, tell your brother where you're actually going." Because he knew where to get the paper and, no, it didn't necessitate walking for the twenty minutes Aziraphale must have been walking already. Barty leaned back, raising his eyebrows. "Relax. It's not as if I'm about to talk to any of the others. Your secret's safe with me."
They wouldn't even engage with him, even if he for some weird reason felt a need to rat on Aziraphale. Which he very much did not. "You have to work on your poker face though, if you're hoping to get away with anything."
"I, uh, I'm not supposed to... go near you." Then again, he wasn't supposed to be walking to the shopping mall to meet up with Barty and make out with his boyfriend in the nearby park so he was on a hot streak of rule breaking lately, that was for sure. "But I'm aware I -- I don't have much ground to speak on what I should be doing."
He eyed up the long road and the hillish area he had to get up and then back at Barty's car. He frowned for just a moment and then he relented.
Going around the car, Aziraphale got in and did up his seabelt, clearly anxious. "So." What did he even say? "How ... are things?"
"All good," Barty said, closing the window again and starting them back up on the road. "You heading for the centre?" Didn't take a mind reader. There were only so many places to go in this damn place. "I'm going that way too. Bill's gonna be hungry when he wakes up and we ain't got much food in the house."
He glanced at his brother from the side, deciding that he'd have to give him at least a bit of an allowance. Couldn't let him go off entirely without funds - and he was sure he was. "Now, you're always such a little angel boy. So do tell me, Aziraphale. How are things with you?"
What had led to him being here of all places at this time? Against the rules.
"Ah yes. Bill." He knew very little about Bill except for what he heard from the elders at home. A junkie whore or something, who Barty had run away to be with, a rather big scandal that cause quite the rift. He missed Barty being around so he couldn't really say he much cared for this Bill fellow. Even if he had never met him, he still didn't like him. "Your, erm, your friend. I hope all is well."
Friend was easier to say than boyfriend. Easier to acknowledge too. God - help him, one gay in the family was bad enough, why did you make both of them gay?
"I'm not an-- don't call me that, you know I don't like it." Only Crowley was allowed to call him angel. And he had earned it. He was willing to meet him at 9am at the mall despite not being a morning person. "I'm just going to kill some time, get some air. Some heat. It's awfully nippy at home right now so it's not fun to sit around."
"My lover. Yeah, that Bill. All is great, he's just gonna pout if he doesn't get his Nesquik in the morning." Bill was able to deal with little to no food, of course, but Barty liked indulging him. Especially when it was so easy and relatively affordable. Besides, he wanted to get an iced coffee for himself while he was at it, so there were selfish motives as well. "I won't call you that, fine. But you have to admit, it's strange. You so suddenly breaking rules."
Even with some level of cool. Well. Comparatively speaking. As if it wasn't the first time. "Are you meeting friends? Cheers. Good for you." Maybe there was hope for Aziraphale after all. "I'll give you some cash. Make it a fun outing."
"I won't take your money. I'm just -- not really an outing. Just a m-meeting of-of-of two people. Friends. Two good friends. I mean, well, one friend but I'm there so two in that sense." He was clearly flustered at the very concept of explaining it and his face went red because of course it did. It was always his greatest tell when he was embarrassed or sheepish. "You can drop me off nearby and I'll just walk it. I really don't want to put you out."
Barty had a boyfriend so who cared if he found out? Why did it worry him? He felt so sure that Barty would tell but who would he tell? Who would care what he said anyway? And yet. He couldn't even begin to acknowledge it. He looked out of the window and swallowed nervously. "I'm glad you're well. We miss you." He missed him. He doubted the others did. "You and Bill don't attend the church either, do you?" He noticed that too.
"Oy! Bill!" Crowley called out to the boy as soon as he spotted him, having been on the lookout. He was not in the mood for a party today, but he knew that Bill was likely to show up here and there was nothing else he could think of doing. He had tried approaching Aziraphale's house, but Gabriel seemed to be pulling guard duty there around the clock now and he knew he couldn't make it through that human brick wall.
No way into the family, so he had to find a way to go through the family. Which meant that, for better or worse, Bill was his best bet.
It was early still, for a Friday night. A guy like Bill, he'd probably just come here to get a buzz before going to a club and, probably, going to a rave after. Bill seemed to be alone, so Crowley was hoping him and Barty hadn't broken up. This was the closest thing he had to a lead. He finally made his way over to him, nodding his head. Cool greeting, he was cool. "Hey, mate. How's it going?"
"Hey." Bill nodded his head in greeting and then pulled out his phone, idly checking through his stuff and trying to load up his bank details to see if he had his benefits paid in or not. If he did, he would get something fun and go home to Barty and if not, he would just nick something from the party. It was a house party, they always left drink lying around and he could take two cans of cider back. He had toys with a rave or whatever but these days, he only really liked it when he could go with Barty.
But Barty was studying. Stupid law degree.
"Look, mate, I ain't got nothing good to sell today. You wanna ask inside. Jack has some, the bloke in the red beanie." Bill explained as he smiled, seeing the cash in his account. Fuck yeah, he could leave early with the excuse of wanting to treat his boyfriend. There are no party without Barty these days. Heh. He looked up from his phone and Crowley was still there. Why? "... What?"
"Right. Right, I was just, y'know. Wondering if you were still seeing Barty. That tall bloke." He held his hand up a little and realised that this was a ridiculous thing to do, because whether or not Bill was still seeing Barty, he definitely would know who Barty was just from hearing the name. Therefore, explaining what Barty looked like to Bill was simply stupid. "I just haven't seen him around in a while, is all."
Because that would have made this much easier, if he could just talk to Barty directly. That was all he wanted, because Barty had to have some kind of insight, right? What was happening to his Aziraphale? Crowley wanted to protect him so badly, he wished he knew what to do.
"Still together, still living in the same place - you're shit out of luck, mate. He's taken." He wasn't sure if that was what Crowley meant but he very much doubted it, it was just funny to tease him. Bill smiled and then looked at Crowley properly, putting his phone away. "Relax, mate, why are you all -- that?" Stiff and weird.
He patted himself down and then caught himself and sighed. "I wanna offer you a smoke but I'm quitting. I can give you a patch, gum or-- the fuck is that?" He pulled out a small box of poppets and then shrugged and offered them. "I got this from the offy."
"Yeah, I wasn't looking to shack up with him..." Although it seemed like a sweet deal, honestly, now that he got a closer look at Bill. "You got new sneakers?" Huh. Ever since he'd known Bill, he had worn tennis shoes old enough to show his socks through the holes and here he was now. "Fancy."
Comparatively speaking, anyway. "Didn't think you'd ever quit smoking, mate, I remember you nicking smokes back in middle school."
Odd and interesting changes, for sure. He looked at the poppets and wondered whether Aziraphale would like them. Probably. Damn. He had to find out something. "Look, mate, it's about Barty's family. His little brother. I-- We're in math class together and he hasn't been to school for a week now."
And he was very concerned about that, which would be weird if it wasn't for all Aziraphale was to him. Whatever, he was trying to act as if it was a normal thing to ask about.
"Yeah, present. Weird, right? I never get presents. I haven't since I was eight." It was weird but Barty got stuff for him. Shoes, clothes, food, drink and he didn't buy him anything like smokes or drugs like his other boyfriends. He said he had to kick it and try to get clean and healthy. It was good for him. It sucked but it was really sweet.
At the statement, Bill raised an eyebrow and then shrugged. "Maybe he's sick. It's only a week. You mates with him? Cause I'm sure you can just text him or -- oh wait, no, they're weird about that stuff." They didn't do phones, TVs or music. Barty had such a weird childhood, he had no normal memories and his only love was books. Nerdy but he liked it.
He never thought he'd find a bloke reading to him romantic and hot but here he was. Barty did it sometimes, when they were chilling. The morning air coming in and the sun shining as Barty read aloud some fun story and Bill lay there, eyes closed, just enjoy it.
"You think it's something to worry about or what?"
"Yeah. As you say, they're weird about this stuff." And Aziraphale thought that Barty might be up to no good potentially, but all Crowley could see was Bill, who was living a better life than last time he'd checked in with him. Not that he thought Bill was as bad as Aziraphale seemed to believe in the first place, but still. Kind of made him think that Barty couldn't be all that bad.
Aziraphale's current circumstances, however? "He's not got any heating at that house. Or a lot of food, for that matter. And I'm worried that he's in trouble. He has been, shall we say, skirting a few rules? Lately. And it's on me, he's been doing it for me. So... If your boyfriend could find out anything, I'd really appreciate that."
"He's busy but -- fuck, he'll be mad at me if this is nothing so you better be right." He checked his phone and tried to call him but, as expected, he got sent to voicemail. When Barty studied, he hated interruptions and Bill was trying his best to be a good boy but this was kind of ruining it. "He ain't gonna pick up. You fancy a walk. We're five minutes away so..."
He could bring him there, they could quickly talk to Barty and he could either send Crowley away or get more details.
"Just don't me in trouble if this is bullshit or whatever cause he's so stressed." Bill sighed and then started walking down the steps and away from the party. "He's got so many fucking assignments. I think I hacked it, not being ambitious, seems exhausting."
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thearrangement2023-04-09 08:18 pm
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They were hiding - they were always hiding, it was just the way it was for them. If his family found out, he didn't even know what would happen, nevermind the school and all the teasing they'd do. No, this was just easier for everyone. The two of them, alone, datinf privately and quietly, away from everyone.
Literally. They were around the back of the school and not the nice part with the bench and the view because, everything else aside, that was where the local ruffians smoked their marijuana. No, they were around the back where the chain fence was, listening to the lunch food getting delivered, near where the cardboard recycling was stored.
And yes, it did smell horribly of wet cardboard and everything was dripping but hey, they were holding hands.
"What are you doing tonight?"
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Whatever. He slid his free hand into his inside pocket and produced the box of pocky he had bought the other day. "Do you want to share? It's chocolate. You like sweet stuff..."
Liked food in general and didn't get to eat a lot of sweets, from all he knew of his family, so he had gotten it for that reason. Well, that and one other reason. "There's a special way to eat these."
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"I suppose one or two wouldn't hurt." Or three or four or half the box. Whatever. He was a sinner already anyway, might as well eat something nice too. "How does it work? They're awfully -- stick like."
Interesting. He hadn't seen that before. He looked at the box and cocked his head to the side. "Well, be my teacher - show me."
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Hey, he wanted to get a bit of affection and kissing in. Aziraphale looked as if he could use it, but it could be difficult to persuade him. Crowley imagined that when there was chocolate to go alongside it, he'd be too preoccupied with enjoyment to feel all the guilt come crushing down until later.
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It was a bit strange. And unfortunate. There would be -- lips. Close lips. And he wasn't sure if this was even real. But he wanted the chocolate and he didn't want to be rude. And he could kiss ... without meaning to, of course, but he could. Just a little. No one would see it.
Looking left and then right, he pushed himself. And yes, it was awfully odd but he got to eat chocolate. Chocolate and a quick kiss. Almost. Kind of. Their lips definitely brushed. He pulled away, blushing and looking away, eyes wide because what if someone saw. God was always watching... which was creepy. Why was God watching this? He cleared his throat. "That was -- good. I liked it. The chocolate, I mean." And the kiss.
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With another not!kiss done and another stick eaten, Crowley remembered that he should also ask, even if he didn't expect and interesting answer there. "What are your plans today?"
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He was madly, stupidly in love with Anthony J Crowley.
Why was God testing him? Probably because of his weak will. Probably become he ate another pocky and kissed the boyfriend he shouldn't even have. Aziraphale decided it was best to not eat any more, making small distance and shaking his head at the next offer because it was unwise to damn himself two fold in one day. "As you say, not much going on around here, is there?"
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It was so difficult. And he'd known it would be, but sometimes it still made him want to sigh and always it made him angry. Whatever. He couldn't despair over this. "I could pick you up, you know. Meet you outside your place, we could go somewhere together."
Huh. "Just us. All secret, no worries." Where would they even go? Limited places, but he'd think of something somehow.
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They basically kissed! And if he wasn't kissing Crowley, he might be kissing someone else. Like tight pants Felix. And look, Crowley was frowning. That judgement frown. Crowley would get sick of him and go off with all the other handsome gays in town if he didn't do something fast.
"We could go to the park!" Okay, maybe he yelled that a little loud but he was not willing to be defeated. "Go to that one bench we like. Near the ducks!" Aziraphale tried, desperate to make it seem exciting so Crowley wouldn't want to go to some ... gay burlesque evening or whatever. "If it rains, there's always the bandstand! I could bring something fun for us to do. We could -- oh! I have travel uno." Exciting stuff.
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Barty was never one for sleeping much, so he was up and out and about. Aziraphale wasn't really supposed to be either out nor about. Especially not out, he knew how concerned the family was about that. He slowed down the car, so sure it had to be him. The curls were kind of a give away. Barty lowered his window and called out. "Aziraphale?! Where are you headed?"
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Usually he could slip out, avoid getting deterred and then apologies later and say he had to return library books. The issue wasn't getting in trouble after, it was the actually getting out. If he got caught mid-escape, then it was most unfortunate.
And yet, here he was, caught mid-escape by his 'former' brother who no longer wished to engage with them and still was here, ruining his moment of triumph. "Bartemius. I, uh, I -- fetching the paper, I-- Hello." Fuck. "I'm just out. I'll be home in a second." Darn it.
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They wouldn't even engage with him, even if he for some weird reason felt a need to rat on Aziraphale. Which he very much did not. "You have to work on your poker face though, if you're hoping to get away with anything."
He gestured. "Get in."
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He eyed up the long road and the hillish area he had to get up and then back at Barty's car. He frowned for just a moment and then he relented.
Going around the car, Aziraphale got in and did up his seabelt, clearly anxious. "So." What did he even say? "How ... are things?"
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He glanced at his brother from the side, deciding that he'd have to give him at least a bit of an allowance. Couldn't let him go off entirely without funds - and he was sure he was. "Now, you're always such a little angel boy. So do tell me, Aziraphale. How are things with you?"
What had led to him being here of all places at this time? Against the rules.
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Friend was easier to say than boyfriend. Easier to acknowledge too. God - help him, one gay in the family was bad enough, why did you make both of them gay?
"I'm not an-- don't call me that, you know I don't like it." Only Crowley was allowed to call him angel. And he had earned it. He was willing to meet him at 9am at the mall despite not being a morning person. "I'm just going to kill some time, get some air. Some heat. It's awfully nippy at home right now so it's not fun to sit around."
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Even with some level of cool. Well. Comparatively speaking. As if it wasn't the first time. "Are you meeting friends? Cheers. Good for you." Maybe there was hope for Aziraphale after all. "I'll give you some cash. Make it a fun outing."
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Barty had a boyfriend so who cared if he found out? Why did it worry him? He felt so sure that Barty would tell but who would he tell? Who would care what he said anyway? And yet. He couldn't even begin to acknowledge it. He looked out of the window and swallowed nervously. "I'm glad you're well. We miss you." He missed him. He doubted the others did. "You and Bill don't attend the church either, do you?" He noticed that too.
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No way into the family, so he had to find a way to go through the family. Which meant that, for better or worse, Bill was his best bet.
It was early still, for a Friday night. A guy like Bill, he'd probably just come here to get a buzz before going to a club and, probably, going to a rave after. Bill seemed to be alone, so Crowley was hoping him and Barty hadn't broken up. This was the closest thing he had to a lead. He finally made his way over to him, nodding his head. Cool greeting, he was cool. "Hey, mate. How's it going?"
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But Barty was studying. Stupid law degree.
"Look, mate, I ain't got nothing good to sell today. You wanna ask inside. Jack has some, the bloke in the red beanie." Bill explained as he smiled, seeing the cash in his account. Fuck yeah, he could leave early with the excuse of wanting to treat his boyfriend. There are no party without Barty these days. Heh. He looked up from his phone and Crowley was still there. Why? "... What?"
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Because that would have made this much easier, if he could just talk to Barty directly. That was all he wanted, because Barty had to have some kind of insight, right? What was happening to his Aziraphale? Crowley wanted to protect him so badly, he wished he knew what to do.
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He patted himself down and then caught himself and sighed. "I wanna offer you a smoke but I'm quitting. I can give you a patch, gum or-- the fuck is that?" He pulled out a small box of poppets and then shrugged and offered them. "I got this from the offy."
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Comparatively speaking, anyway. "Didn't think you'd ever quit smoking, mate, I remember you nicking smokes back in middle school."
Odd and interesting changes, for sure. He looked at the poppets and wondered whether Aziraphale would like them. Probably. Damn. He had to find out something. "Look, mate, it's about Barty's family. His little brother. I-- We're in math class together and he hasn't been to school for a week now."
And he was very concerned about that, which would be weird if it wasn't for all Aziraphale was to him. Whatever, he was trying to act as if it was a normal thing to ask about.
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At the statement, Bill raised an eyebrow and then shrugged. "Maybe he's sick. It's only a week. You mates with him? Cause I'm sure you can just text him or -- oh wait, no, they're weird about that stuff." They didn't do phones, TVs or music. Barty had such a weird childhood, he had no normal memories and his only love was books. Nerdy but he liked it.
He never thought he'd find a bloke reading to him romantic and hot but here he was. Barty did it sometimes, when they were chilling. The morning air coming in and the sun shining as Barty read aloud some fun story and Bill lay there, eyes closed, just enjoy it.
"You think it's something to worry about or what?"
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Aziraphale's current circumstances, however? "He's not got any heating at that house. Or a lot of food, for that matter. And I'm worried that he's in trouble. He has been, shall we say, skirting a few rules? Lately. And it's on me, he's been doing it for me. So... If your boyfriend could find out anything, I'd really appreciate that."
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He could bring him there, they could quickly talk to Barty and he could either send Crowley away or get more details.
"Just don't me in trouble if this is bullshit or whatever cause he's so stressed." Bill sighed and then started walking down the steps and away from the party. "He's got so many fucking assignments. I think I hacked it, not being ambitious, seems exhausting."
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