"I believe that God does love you. You and-- and Bill. And what they said about Bill was very out of line and I'm sure God would not approve of that either. I know sometimes it doesn't seem good or fair but it's just .... ineffable. God works in mysterious ways." Aziraphale explained calmly as he looked at his brother, wondering how hard it was for him to just walk away and be different.
He wondered, idly, if he could find Crowley soon. They usually met near here but he might be napping on a bench somewhere.
He looked at the money and then finally, he took the ten. "Thank you. I can use it to buy a coffee. Not for me! I don't do that but he would -- ah. I mean." Damn it. He gave away that he was meeting a guy. "I will buy drinks. Thank you." He fumbled, trying to get the handle to open. "... The child lock is on."
"Don't really care what god feels. I love Bill. He loves me. That's all that matters. You'll realise one day." Unfortunately, for better or worse, he didn't see any way where Aziraphale wasn't going to realise that. "Holding the one you love in your arms is a lot better than the conditional love of some asshole in the sky."
Maybe that was a bit too graphic. Ah, whatever. "Off you go." He disabled the child lock. "Let me know if you need anything."
With a smile, he slipped out of the car and waved awkwardly at his brother before he started walking towards the local costa, knowing his mission. He ordered an iced black coffee, extra caffeine, and got himself a brownie for good measure. No one had to know. With his tenner almost gone, he walked towards there meeting place.
It took him a while until he found Crowley napping on a bench and came over to him, gently prodding him. "I have coffee for you!"
"Wha--?!" Crowley had been napping with an arm over his eyes, trying to get some shut-eye in while he had the chance, because last night had most definitively not provided any chance. He blinked at Aziraphale, who was startlingly bright, with his almost white blond hair and that light beige outfit. Same old, really. Crowley's eyes were bloodshot, which was nothing new, made worse by the lack of sleep. He closed them and reached inside his jacket pocket, fishing out his sunglasses.
He put them on so he could look at his boyfriend without burning his retinas, finally managing a smile. He went over what Aziraphale had said, his mind sluggish after having just woken up, but he did connect the dots now. "Coffee?"
Turning to look at said coffee, he frowned. "How?" Because Aziraphale never had money.
"I ran into my ... former brother. Remember Bartemius? Well, uh, he insisted I took money from him and I figured while it is wrong to take money from such a man, I really do owe you a coffee." So he relented for Crowley. Besides, it was hard to judge his brother - he really wasn't half as bad as his siblings claimed. Besides, he liked him and he wanted to talk to him. He didn't seem as bad as they all claimed but he didn't know what to think or how to express it.
Sitting down, he held the coffee out to Crowley and then sighed, somewhat sadly, as he looked at his sleepy boyfriend. "Perhaps next time I can just sit and wait until noon. I can bring a book. I feel terrible for making you meet me this early."
"It's fine, Aziraphale, really. I'm waking up alrea--" All right, he had to yawn before finishing the sentence, which might undermine his point a little. "--dy. Anyway, look at you. Bringing me coffee." He took a sip from the coffee now, with a blissful expression, then looked at the cup, still smiling. "I love it."
Loved Aziraphale too, but it was probably too early to say that. He looked at him, moving his legs a little so they could brush against Aziraphale's. "I remember Bartemius. Barty. bit of a looker."
A bit of a loner too, as far as he could judge. Hard to judge people in the years above you. But he had a cooler rep than Aziraphale - obviously, so did the Teletubbies - and then he had broken away from the family. "'s nice. That he gave you the cash."
"... You think he's a looker?" Was that good or bad? Because they had very different genetics so probably not, he looked nothing like Barty. No one in their family looked that similar, many different wives and all. He look the most after his mother, who he had never met but had been assured she was a good Christian woman and very nice. "Bar-- he is not!"
Great, his boyfriend fancied his older brother more than him. Wasn't the first time, he assumed, he had some very handsome siblings and then there was him. Awkward, soft, not quite hitting his growth spurt yet. He looked more like a boy than a cool teen, much to his own dismay. Maybe he needed to get hotter. Somehow.
"Barty is, erm, well - he's taken so." There. No luck anyway. "And yes, I suppose it's nice but... I don't know. He may have an agenda."
"Yeah, I mean, he's also old." Well, not old. Nineteen? Something like that. Way older than them, anyway. But Crowley wasn't completely dumb, so he did catch on to what was happening there. He had an elbow on the back of the bench to better look over at Aziraphale, smiling at him. "No one's as beautiful as you, angel. You're perfect, with that look in your eyes."
The vaguely threatened and concerned look right now, but he was adorable anyway. Crowley looked around briefly to check whether anyone could possibly be looking their way, then he leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. "That's my agenda."
Kisses. Kisses were his agenda. "What agenda do you think your brother has? Maybe he just likes you."
It was possible. Granted, Crowley liked none of his own siblings, but weird things could happen. "I kinda like my nephew Adam, so."
There it was again. Stupid, round tomato boy. Still, the kiss was nice. He liked when they kissed. He liked being the most pretty. His boyfriend. The boyfriend of Crowley. Nice. He wished he had a badge that said that, he'd-- well, he'd never wear it but it would be nice to have.
"Well, Adam is perfectly lovely. Barty is not. He's -- he's quite the sinner. He left our family for that boy, the -- the one from the estates, I don't know much of him. I don't like to gossip." He knew what his family said and he was certain he went to their school once. Maybe. For a bit. "Did you ever know Bill?"
What a name too. Bill. Very common. "It's just odd. That's all. To leave us for a-a-a boy. Of all things. That." Being gay. Yeah, no, who'd leave their family for that? Whoops. "Not that I-- oh dear, I sound very judgemental, don't I? I understand him but it was just... it's a shock, is all."
"I don't know about lovely. Last time I went to see him he told me to get him better chocolate next time and that it's dumb to put sticky goo in my hair." Spirited, maybe, not so much with the lovely. He was a smart kid though, he could give him that. And he was good at making and keeping friends, apparently. His father's son in that regard.
Crowley frowned at what Aziraphale was telling him, because... Well, for a lot of reasons. What did that mean about the odds of ever properly dating for the two of them? And what did it mean regarding what Aziraphale thought of him. He supposed it wasn't that surprising, he knew what Aziraphale's family thought. "Yeah, I know Bill. We've been to the same places a couple times. Parties and such. He's an all right lad, good for a laugh. Him and Felix would compete for blokes."
"Ah. Well. That sounds about right, doesn't it?" Yeah, he didn't like Bill much from the sounds of it but he did like Barty. He missed him a lot. And he was a brave sort, the way he was - it was hard not to admire him. "He said he'd rather have the love he has now than the love he'd get from our God. Says it's not very loving and a bit one-sided and all."
He frowned and looked at his shoes. That was easier. He had nice shoes, he cleaned them every day. "I used to think he was a bad person. Then I fell in love." And yeah, that changed a lot for him. "Now I don't think -- I mean, I understand it. I want ... I want to see you more. Be with you more. And one day, we will have that but-- but is it worth it? To burn all bridges like that and walk away?"
"Dunno. Can't decide that for you." Much as he wanted to. "I think your brother talks sense though." And he was careful not to say too much on that, because he didn't want to upset Aziraphale by discussing his religion, by saying the wrong thing there. Instead he reached over to take a hold of Aziraphale's hand and thread their fingers together. "I'm in love with you too. For the record. That's not one-sided."
"I like the idea of not feeling bad for once. I want to do things. I want to be with you, I want to us to go places and do things. I want electric and heat again. It's very cold right now." Aziraphale sighed and closed his eyes, unsure how to handle any of this. He just happily held his lover's hand and squeezed it gently. "I want to not make you make that face any more. I hate that face."
It was the face of disappointment and he hated being disappointing. When he was disappointing and terrible, he was sure that Crowley debated leaving him. He'd run away with Felix or Bill or Barty. So many options! "We could... have a sleep over. That would be fun." Oh, dear God, what was he implying. "Not sex! I'm not asking for sex! Just sleeping!" Well, that was a thing to yell out just as an old couple walked by them on their morning walk, looking at them both dubiously. "Good morning, sir. Madam. Nice weather."
"...mornin'." Crowley nodded to the couple, then looked back at Aziraphale, amused despite his own embarrassment. Well, Aziraphale looked cute when he was embarrassed, which was quite often. "Listen, angel, I want all of that too. And I really want you to be somewhere nicer. You know, liveable."
Granted, his own living conditions were far from ideal, but at least he had heating and electricity, so in some ways it was luxury by comparison. "You ain't making me make any face. I'm just hoping for better times for you. For us. And I know it's gonna happen."
He just wished it could happen sooner. Crowley finished off his coffee and set the cup aside. "I've got some cash too. Do you wanna go and see if I can't treat you to something?"
"I mean, I won't say no." Aziraphale said, looking at his boyfriend in such a dreamy manner. What a boyfriend, what a lover, what a-a 'bae', as it were. He smiled and then nodded, getting to his feet and dusting off his pants. He didn't want to be unpresentable. "Let's go, I think you could tempt me to a nice lunch somewhere. Well, uh, brunch."
Given it was only just 9.30 and they were in for a long day. He had to be back by 3 but at least he could make the most of his morning.
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thearrangement2023-04-09 08:18 pm
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He wondered, idly, if he could find Crowley soon. They usually met near here but he might be napping on a bench somewhere.
He looked at the money and then finally, he took the ten. "Thank you. I can use it to buy a coffee. Not for me! I don't do that but he would -- ah. I mean." Damn it. He gave away that he was meeting a guy. "I will buy drinks. Thank you." He fumbled, trying to get the handle to open. "... The child lock is on."
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Maybe that was a bit too graphic. Ah, whatever. "Off you go." He disabled the child lock. "Let me know if you need anything."
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With a smile, he slipped out of the car and waved awkwardly at his brother before he started walking towards the local costa, knowing his mission. He ordered an iced black coffee, extra caffeine, and got himself a brownie for good measure. No one had to know. With his tenner almost gone, he walked towards there meeting place.
It took him a while until he found Crowley napping on a bench and came over to him, gently prodding him. "I have coffee for you!"
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He put them on so he could look at his boyfriend without burning his retinas, finally managing a smile. He went over what Aziraphale had said, his mind sluggish after having just woken up, but he did connect the dots now. "Coffee?"
Turning to look at said coffee, he frowned. "How?" Because Aziraphale never had money.
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Sitting down, he held the coffee out to Crowley and then sighed, somewhat sadly, as he looked at his sleepy boyfriend. "Perhaps next time I can just sit and wait until noon. I can bring a book. I feel terrible for making you meet me this early."
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Loved Aziraphale too, but it was probably too early to say that. He looked at him, moving his legs a little so they could brush against Aziraphale's. "I remember Bartemius. Barty. bit of a looker."
A bit of a loner too, as far as he could judge. Hard to judge people in the years above you. But he had a cooler rep than Aziraphale - obviously, so did the Teletubbies - and then he had broken away from the family. "'s nice. That he gave you the cash."
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Great, his boyfriend fancied his older brother more than him. Wasn't the first time, he assumed, he had some very handsome siblings and then there was him. Awkward, soft, not quite hitting his growth spurt yet. He looked more like a boy than a cool teen, much to his own dismay. Maybe he needed to get hotter. Somehow.
"Barty is, erm, well - he's taken so." There. No luck anyway. "And yes, I suppose it's nice but... I don't know. He may have an agenda."
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The vaguely threatened and concerned look right now, but he was adorable anyway. Crowley looked around briefly to check whether anyone could possibly be looking their way, then he leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. "That's my agenda."
Kisses. Kisses were his agenda. "What agenda do you think your brother has? Maybe he just likes you."
It was possible. Granted, Crowley liked none of his own siblings, but weird things could happen. "I kinda like my nephew Adam, so."
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"Well, Adam is perfectly lovely. Barty is not. He's -- he's quite the sinner. He left our family for that boy, the -- the one from the estates, I don't know much of him. I don't like to gossip." He knew what his family said and he was certain he went to their school once. Maybe. For a bit. "Did you ever know Bill?"
What a name too. Bill. Very common. "It's just odd. That's all. To leave us for a-a-a boy. Of all things. That." Being gay. Yeah, no, who'd leave their family for that? Whoops. "Not that I-- oh dear, I sound very judgemental, don't I? I understand him but it was just... it's a shock, is all."
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Crowley frowned at what Aziraphale was telling him, because... Well, for a lot of reasons. What did that mean about the odds of ever properly dating for the two of them? And what did it mean regarding what Aziraphale thought of him. He supposed it wasn't that surprising, he knew what Aziraphale's family thought. "Yeah, I know Bill. We've been to the same places a couple times. Parties and such. He's an all right lad, good for a laugh. Him and Felix would compete for blokes."
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He frowned and looked at his shoes. That was easier. He had nice shoes, he cleaned them every day. "I used to think he was a bad person. Then I fell in love." And yeah, that changed a lot for him. "Now I don't think -- I mean, I understand it. I want ... I want to see you more. Be with you more. And one day, we will have that but-- but is it worth it? To burn all bridges like that and walk away?"
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Never. His heart was very set. "I want to go to a café with you and buy you a piece of cake. The kind you always look at through the window. And I want to watch you eat it without you feeling guilty once. While we sit together. Then I kiss you. That's the life I want."
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It was the face of disappointment and he hated being disappointing. When he was disappointing and terrible, he was sure that Crowley debated leaving him. He'd run away with Felix or Bill or Barty. So many options! "We could... have a sleep over. That would be fun." Oh, dear God, what was he implying. "Not sex! I'm not asking for sex! Just sleeping!" Well, that was a thing to yell out just as an old couple walked by them on their morning walk, looking at them both dubiously. "Good morning, sir. Madam. Nice weather."
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Granted, his own living conditions were far from ideal, but at least he had heating and electricity, so in some ways it was luxury by comparison. "You ain't making me make any face. I'm just hoping for better times for you. For us. And I know it's gonna happen."
He just wished it could happen sooner. Crowley finished off his coffee and set the cup aside. "I've got some cash too. Do you wanna go and see if I can't treat you to something?"
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Given it was only just 9.30 and they were in for a long day. He had to be back by 3 but at least he could make the most of his morning.
"After you, my dear fellow."