thearrangement | I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me

"There he is. Flash bastard." Ligur wasn't impressed by Crowley showing up late. They were standing here with Adam who was supposed to be shown the ropes and so far he'd really just been shown the back alley behind this club, which was gross more than anything.

But now Crowley had parked his car and gotten out of it, wearing his sunglasses although it was already getting dark and walking over in a hard to explain manner. "Hi."

He lifted his hand, sniffed, and looked at Adam. Nicer to focus on him than his brothers. "You're Adam, right? Haven't seen you since you were a wee babe. You like cars?"

"They're bad for the environment. Cars, I mean. It's London, you should use public transportation or the world will heat up to 1 more degree. Then we'll have problems. Like the dinosaurs did." Adam explained, not sure fully who this was but he had vague memories of uncle Crowley. Very vague. He really wasn't around much at all. If ever.

"... Yeah. Well. We're just showing him the ropes, you know?" Hastur explained, not sure how to respond to whatever Adam said. He focused instead of Crowley. "You're late. Lucifer won't be happy."

Adam looked around and then pulled a face. "Why do people always piss behind night clubs?" Seriously, the smell was wild.

"Lucifer's never had a problem with the way I do things before, so if you have one, just bring it up to him," Crowley suggested, mostly focused on the boy here. He hadn't really expected the climate rant. Most kids just thought his car was cool. Which it was. He thought so too.

"They piss here because they get pissed first. Smells awful." He glanced at Hastur and Ligur. "Don't suppose you two notice that."

"Huh?" Ligur didn't quite follow.

"Want to go somewhere that smells better, Adam?" Crowley gestured to the car. "I don't do business in smelly places."

"Definitely. This is well boring." He didn't much care for the city. He had been raised in the country for so long that coming to the city to take over had been boring, lonely and a little tedious. Chatting on discord with his mates didn't make being away from home any better and he hated that London was so loud, smelly and crowded. "Let's go."

"Hang on! You can't just take him! We are not leaving you alone with him. We are supposed to being this together."

"Oh, we are. Of course we're all staying together. Can you just go and fetch my jacket from inside? Both of you. My dad would be angry if it's lost." Adam informed them and after much smiles and fake platitudes, Hastur and Ligur went back inside to find the jacket. The jacket that Adam was wearing. They were really quite dumb.

He turned to Crowley and smiled. "I'm ready. Let's leave."

"Smart kid." Smarter than those two at least, which wasn't really saying much. Crowley walked over to his car and opened the door to the passenger side, letting Adam get inside. Then he walked around and got into his seat, immediately backing out of the alley. Music was blasting from the speakers and Crowley checked his watch, just to know how late it was.

"You hungry at all? Because I assume that those two didn't feed you well." They didn't do anything well, so it stood to reason. "How old are you now, Adam? Just curious."

"Nah, we didn't get any food. Didn't have breakfast either. Dad's naff at this stuff. He doesn't understand kids, I reckon." It was funny, trying to live with Lucifer. He saw him like twice in total and half the time, it was maids and servants. And they didn't know what to do with him. They made him salmon for breakfast.

Safe to say, he did not eat it.

"I'm ten. Double digits. It's very exciting." Adam remarked idly as he looked around the car, just taking it in. "It was a good birthday. Until I left."

"Yeah, I reckon your dad doesn't really understand anyone other than himself. He's more the type to make the world accommodate him than to accommodate anyone." Crowley wasn't sure how much Adam was going to follow this, but he seemed a fairly bright boy, he assumed he'd at least get the gist. "Happy birthday. I'll see about getting you a present later."

For now, he got out his phone and found the last number he'd dialled, not saved under any name. "What do you feel like eating most right now? I'll make it happen."

"Dunno. Not fish and shrimp and all kinds of fancy stuff. Don't like lamb either. I miss chips but they're not always healthy so you can't have them all the time. Roast potatoes are nice and I usually have plant based beef, the real one is terrible." Oh yes, a budding vegetarian son of Lucifer - that would likely go over very well. "I just want to eat something normal."

"Hello? Crowley? Please say the code word before we talk." The codeword was new. Aziraphale thought it up. He loved that sort of thing - clues and codewords.

"...I've no bloody idea, angel. Banana?" Something like that, he was fairly sure. "Look, I need a recommendation for a place to eat. Somewhere, I don't know. Somewhere that does roast potatoes?" If anyone knew where food was good, it had to be Aziraphale. Besides, he always felt more at ease when he could talk to Aziraphale. "And vegetarian roasts, I guess that."

Oh, he could not wait for Lucifer to discover that one. It would so be blamed on him.

"There's a nice pub by the bookstore I frequent. I'll send you a link! Just a moment, I'll call back in a jiffy." Then Aziraphale hung up on Crowley. Adam frowned and raised an eyebrow. Angel? Weird. Guess it was his boyfriend or something.

"Is he a chef?" Why was Crowley asking him for help? Seemed a little strange, didn't most people just google stuff? Then again, this guy hung up to send a link - maybe they were too old to work phones properly. "What's a jiffy?"

"That's a word that only people who can't stay on a call while sending a link use. Means he'll call back right after." Knowing Aziraphale, it was probably going to be a few, until he remembered how to copy and paste. Well, not as if he was in that much of a hurry, now that he at least knew to go vaguely in the direction of the bookshop. "He's a friend of mine. He likes food a lot, always knows those little places where they know him by name. I'm not big on food."

"That's sad, food is good. You should start eating more, maybe having fruit. Fruit is really good for you. Apples are great for your teeth." Adam clarified as he looked out of the wind, listening for the sound of the phone. Which did ring. Eventually.

"Hello again. It's me. Banana." Aziraphale assumed it was a codeword Crowley had invented. "It's the Cuckoo Oak. I sent the link on the whatsapp for you."

"Do they have Vimto there?" Adam asked and there was a long silence as clearly, he had flustered the man.

"I-I-I personally never checked before but you could buy a can from the shop next door. Hello." Aziraphale wasn't sure who that was but he tried to be polite.

"That's just a kid, angel. Just some boy I'm showing around. You want to meet us at that pub?" Some things were just better clarified in person. Crowley glanced at his phone to check just where he was going exactly, not feeling the need to end the call to do so. "My treat."

He assumed Aziraphale would give in, he could never resist an invitation to a good meal. Crowley looked at Adam, just to see how he was doing. "We'll get you Vimto."

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