"Kanpai." Aziraphale raised his glass and then took a long sip. Huh. It was strong, very intense at first but he liked the aftertaste. He huffed out an amused little noise and then smiled at Crowley, amazed that he had broken a life long rule so swiftly. He was being impulse - how thrilling!
"Interesting. I like it. I never thought I'd drink, not sure why but I just never considered it. I know Barty does but he always found breaking the rules easier than I did." which was why Barty left at 17 and he left at 34.
"Yeah, you two seem very different. You're less scary, for one thing." Which he approved of. Barty was cool, which Crowley admired to a certain degree - when he'd been younger, he had more or less subconsciously tried mimicking it a little - but he was also enigmatic and only Bill seemed to understand him and not find him unsettling. Aziraphale was not unsettling in the least, if anything he was the opposite.
"You grew up with strict rules, right? Bill's told me a bit." It sounded oppressive. "The only rule at my home was to not get decked." At least that was the rule he'd tried to live by.
"Yes, well, I suppose. We were raised as Fundamental Latter Day Saints. I suppose most people call us Mormons these days." Only mormons had nothing on what they experienced, the FLDS was as extreme as it could get sometimes. "Barty fled when he was young, he had no desire to be a part of it. I always admired that about him. He didn't keep his faith. I did."
Aziraphale realised how it sounded to people who didn't know him and instantly held up his hands apologetic. "Not in the mormon sense, in my own person sense. For myself. I find organise religion is a bit of a scary beast."
"It is, innit? I've never gone in for it." Some of his siblings liked to style themselves as satanists, but for his money they just felt it was another excuse to act like a berk, as if they needed one. "I think it takes a lot of courage to get out of that kinda thing, especially if you still believe in any of it. Good on you."
It was impressive, thinking about this mild-mannered man doing something so radical. "I'm not much of a believer in anything. Never made much sense to me why any god would make the world only for it to go so wrong all the time."
"I suppose I just think that it's comforting to imagine someone who could be involved in your life from afar and love you no matter what. Even with your mistakes and flaws. I think the concept is something that could be beneficial to people, whether or not it's real. It's sort of like - love personified." And as someone who planned to never really date or find love, had no affection from his parents and no real friends, the concept of unconditional love from afar was very comforting.
"In the end, it was an easy decision. I didn't do it for myself. God knows, I don't think there's much from the world I can really get these days but I did it because I don't want people to a part of something so negative. People who see God as punishment and use it to hurt others." It just seemed so wrong.
He sighed and looked away, feeling a little awkward. "Sorry to ramble on, it's not the most interesting. All these years and I still find a way to talk about religion of all things. I'm so sorry!"
"Big part of your life, so it makes sense. You sound a bit like Holden, he's a friend of mine. He grew up Catholic, he wanted to be a priest for a while." Which maybe Holden still wanted to be? Crowley wasn't sure, though he thought perhaps it was better not to become a priest when so clearly in love with someone, but what did he know? "I like the idea of love, but I don't think I believe anyone's loving me from afar."
He certainly never felt that had shone through much in his life. "Love's not always a good thing either. Gets to be toxic quite often." And the love God seemed to have appeared to fall into that category frequently. "But there's things you can get from the world, Aziraphale. We'll get cake, for one thing. And now we're getting sushi."
Which was indeed placed in front of them just then, as their sake was poured again as well. "Enjoy."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
"Interesting. I like it. I never thought I'd drink, not sure why but I just never considered it. I know Barty does but he always found breaking the rules easier than I did." which was why Barty left at 17 and he left at 34.
no subject
"You grew up with strict rules, right? Bill's told me a bit." It sounded oppressive. "The only rule at my home was to not get decked." At least that was the rule he'd tried to live by.
no subject
Aziraphale realised how it sounded to people who didn't know him and instantly held up his hands apologetic. "Not in the mormon sense, in my own person sense. For myself. I find organise religion is a bit of a scary beast."
no subject
It was impressive, thinking about this mild-mannered man doing something so radical. "I'm not much of a believer in anything. Never made much sense to me why any god would make the world only for it to go so wrong all the time."
no subject
"In the end, it was an easy decision. I didn't do it for myself. God knows, I don't think there's much from the world I can really get these days but I did it because I don't want people to a part of something so negative. People who see God as punishment and use it to hurt others." It just seemed so wrong.
He sighed and looked away, feeling a little awkward. "Sorry to ramble on, it's not the most interesting. All these years and I still find a way to talk about religion of all things. I'm so sorry!"
no subject
He certainly never felt that had shone through much in his life. "Love's not always a good thing either. Gets to be toxic quite often." And the love God seemed to have appeared to fall into that category frequently. "But there's things you can get from the world, Aziraphale. We'll get cake, for one thing. And now we're getting sushi."
Which was indeed placed in front of them just then, as their sake was poured again as well. "Enjoy."