"Well, I'm straight so it wouldn't be much good for me to come. Not that any other club is fun but I mean -- not that I think that there's anything othering about ... I like girls." Newt just wanted to make it clear that he wasn't against the gays, he just didn't happen to be one of the gays. "I fully support all LGBTQ things, promise."
He was technically part of the LGBTQ but he just didn't really want to bring it up, it was a tad awkward and he liked that he could pass now so it just made everything more awkward if he stopped to highlight it. "I don't think I should date anyway, straight or otherwise." He was still working on himself.
"You're contradicting yourself there, Newt. If you shouldn't date, then what's it matter if you don't hook up in a straight or in a gay club?" Seemed as if there wasn't much logic there. Anyway, it was just awkward to put him on the spot a little. Way too easy, but still very fun. "Anyway, these days gay clubs are filled with bachelorette parties, you're more likely to score than I am."
It was hazardous. Felix ranted about it frequently, which was always very entertaining, but Crowley also frequently joined in with the rant. He didn't go there to get groped by women. "Anyway, I promise I'll warn my mates. None of them are gonna hit on you."
Newt laughed. "Of course they won't." Why would they hit on him? He was short, awkward, nerdy and his glasses had tape on them. Most people just called him Harry Potter or Jeffery Dahmer and treated him like the biggest loser in the world and he ... he was secretly kind of happy about it. No one called him anything girly so how was that not a great win? Like seriously, it was so cool to be bullied for being a dorky guy.
"I mean, I'd love to meet someone, it would be nice. Even a one night stand but, well, I'm so bad at talking to people so I'll never get laid." He had to give disclaimers and it was always a disaster.
"Those ladies tend to be too trashed for talking... Good on you for not taking advantage though, there's an upstanding gentleman. Shame you don't go for blokes, I'd set you up with my mate Bill." Get him someone who wasn't the absolute worst for a while. "Just come over Friday, I bet your mom would want me to take you out." He had a very strong inkling.
And also Mrs Pulsifer had called earlier to check in on Newt and dropped a giant hint or two then. Whatever, Newt seemed like a good enough bloke.
He was supposed to say yes, wasn't he? Like a normal person. Go out, see people, do things. All he wanted to do on Friday was hang out at home, maybe read some fic in bed while a movie was going or he could paint his miniature figures for his next warhammer sesh but he knew that worried his mom and he was sure he should engage more. "I could, if you really think it'd be all right. I don't want to be a charity case, you don't have to do stuff with me. Seriously, it's fine but, uh, yeah. First time in a gay club."
Did he want to go to a gay club? He didn't think so. He doubted they'd want him either. They were all about dicks and he was sorely lacking in that department. "Sorry about the hose. I really am."
"Not a problem." Crowley finished screwing in the replacement bit, gave it a good wiggle and then got up, turning to face Newt. "It's all fixed. Hoses break all the time, don't worry about it."
Not exactly the hardest issue in the world to fix. They had plenty of replacement pieces and even bits to cover up any potential holes or cuts. "You can just hang at my place and then decide if you want to come to the club with us or not. Informal."
Ah, the things he did for a loving mom. Apparently. "You can be my wingman. Do a better job of it than my boy does, I bet."
"Woah, you fixed it. Thanks a lot, I didn't want to lose my job." Newt tried to wring the water from his shirt now he knew he would indeed be here until end of shift, trying to make himself presentable and less soaked. It was going to be a tough day, especially if it stayed windy out. "I'll come over and we can see what happens. Maybe it'll be fun."
Maybe his mates would want Newt to fuck off. Maybe they just wanted cash (they were shit out of luck, he was broke). "How old is your boy then?"
"He's turning four in August. Still pretty tiny, but he's mouthy." Very verbal for his age, or so the ladies in the park told him. Apparently Adam was a bright young lad who simply accidentally happened to also be a little bit of a brat. He thought it lovingly, while looking Newt over. "We've got some spare uniforms in the break room, maybe you can find some dry stuff."
Because this was a bit of a bad look and also likely to have him catch a cold. "Bring something to drink come Friday. And you can just ride with me after work."
"Okay, I can do that. Drink wise - alcohol, right?" He assumed booze and not just a coke or something. He imagined no one wanted him to turn up with a coke zero bottle. When Crowley nodded, he laughed like he knew all along. "Of course."
Oh boy, this was gonna be difficult. How did he make a gang of super cool gay dudes like him in any way?
"Spare clothes sounds good, if you have them. You can lead the way, if you fancy."
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He was technically part of the LGBTQ but he just didn't really want to bring it up, it was a tad awkward and he liked that he could pass now so it just made everything more awkward if he stopped to highlight it. "I don't think I should date anyway, straight or otherwise." He was still working on himself.
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It was hazardous. Felix ranted about it frequently, which was always very entertaining, but Crowley also frequently joined in with the rant. He didn't go there to get groped by women. "Anyway, I promise I'll warn my mates. None of them are gonna hit on you."
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"I mean, I'd love to meet someone, it would be nice. Even a one night stand but, well, I'm so bad at talking to people so I'll never get laid." He had to give disclaimers and it was always a disaster.
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And also Mrs Pulsifer had called earlier to check in on Newt and dropped a giant hint or two then. Whatever, Newt seemed like a good enough bloke.
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Did he want to go to a gay club? He didn't think so. He doubted they'd want him either. They were all about dicks and he was sorely lacking in that department. "Sorry about the hose. I really am."
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Not exactly the hardest issue in the world to fix. They had plenty of replacement pieces and even bits to cover up any potential holes or cuts. "You can just hang at my place and then decide if you want to come to the club with us or not. Informal."
Ah, the things he did for a loving mom. Apparently. "You can be my wingman. Do a better job of it than my boy does, I bet."
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Maybe his mates would want Newt to fuck off. Maybe they just wanted cash (they were shit out of luck, he was broke). "How old is your boy then?"
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Because this was a bit of a bad look and also likely to have him catch a cold. "Bring something to drink come Friday. And you can just ride with me after work."
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Oh boy, this was gonna be difficult. How did he make a gang of super cool gay dudes like him in any way?
"Spare clothes sounds good, if you have them. You can lead the way, if you fancy."