"Here's a drink." He gave Joe the cider, because Joe had always liked cider. Well, he had always coveted it, anyway, he had only gotten him to actually drink it once, because Joe was nothing if not a good boy. Anthony frowned, taking the bottle of pills from him and looking at them. "Do you know what these do?"
Maybe he could talk him out of it. "They make your mind slower. They subdue you. They make you less yourself, you know?"
"My doctor said I have to take them or it's dangerous for me. It's just medication." He used to get upset at night and more bored before he started taking them. Once he started, things got more tolerable and people seemed to like him more when he was on a schedule for his medication. And now Anthony was telling him it wasn't good and it seemed so conflicting.
"I-I don't know who myself is. Maybe it's good to be less of myself. Maybe that's why the doctor told me to take it." What if he was secretly an asshole and he hadn't realised?
"I know who your self is, Joe. Don't I? I'm your best friend. So, eh, I reckon it can't do that much harm, not with me right there. I can keep you in check." He tried a smile once more and there was the urge, for the first time, to take off the glasses. But he knew better than to risk that, when he was only now slowly building up some trust.
When Joe was the only person to ever not recoil or otherwise react in a way he hated to his eyes and he didn't want to ruin that fragile memory. The way Joe used to look at him. "I reckon it's for the best just trying to be yourself. We can figure it out together. No medication."
Joe seemed unsure but ... but the Joe before, he had friends. He had a life. He was loved. And Joe thought it would be nice to be that guy and not this one. He looked at Anthony, as if to try and suss out bad intent, before he relented and held up his hands. "You can keep them for now but please, don't throw them away. I might need them still. I guess I don't know myself as well as you do."
And wasn't that just sad and frustrating. Some stranger knew him better than he knew himself. He felt at a loss so often - he just wanted to know what happened and who he was. "Just make sure I don't do anything bad. I'd hate to hurt anyone. Especially you." Well, he was a friend. You didn't hurt friends.
"I'll make sure. But you've never hurt anyone, Joe. You never would. You're far too pure to ever hurt anyone." He assured him automatically, simply having to tell him. As he had so often before tried to convince people of Joe's innocence. Joe's good intentions. He handed Joe the sandwich now, opening a salt and vinegar crisp pack for himself. "We can share."
He held the pack over to him and shrugged. "You always liked sweets best, but you should eat something proper first."
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thearrangement2023-10-04 07:18 pm
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Maybe he could talk him out of it. "They make your mind slower. They subdue you. They make you less yourself, you know?"
no subject
"I-I don't know who myself is. Maybe it's good to be less of myself. Maybe that's why the doctor told me to take it." What if he was secretly an asshole and he hadn't realised?
no subject
When Joe was the only person to ever not recoil or otherwise react in a way he hated to his eyes and he didn't want to ruin that fragile memory. The way Joe used to look at him. "I reckon it's for the best just trying to be yourself. We can figure it out together. No medication."
no subject
And wasn't that just sad and frustrating. Some stranger knew him better than he knew himself. He felt at a loss so often - he just wanted to know what happened and who he was. "Just make sure I don't do anything bad. I'd hate to hurt anyone. Especially you." Well, he was a friend. You didn't hurt friends.
no subject
"I'll make sure. But you've never hurt anyone, Joe. You never would. You're far too pure to ever hurt anyone." He assured him automatically, simply having to tell him. As he had so often before tried to convince people of Joe's innocence. Joe's good intentions. He handed Joe the sandwich now, opening a salt and vinegar crisp pack for himself. "We can share."
He held the pack over to him and shrugged. "You always liked sweets best, but you should eat something proper first."