"Good one. It must chafe. Basic physics. You'd be doing him a favour." Him and his balls and his evidently rather sizeable dick. Hartley crossed his arms, trying not to think too much about that. He could think more at night in bed, he supposed. "I've been wondering whether this is just some perverted experiment to see what happens when you lock up a bunch of pent-up teenagers and tell them they can't be gay. Having that gardener is not helping anything in regards to disproving my theory."
Quite the opposite, really. "Wow. Phil definitely just copped a feel."
Good on Phil, he supposed. The gardener's expression was difficult to read with the sunglasses on, but at least he seemed to be remaining somewhat cool.
"Yeah, they can. It's easy. He's making it real easy." Bill remarked as he leaned back and watched the boys swarming him. Then he tilted his head, watching Aziraphale. God, that boy was pent up. And getting stressed out at the way the boys were all over Crowley. Cute. "Someone should go over there and save the poor man."
There was a bit of silences and then Aziraphale sighed and rolled up his sleeves. "Well, if no one else will, I will."
Aziraphale marched forward on a mission and came over, trying not to look at Crowley as he started to wave his arms at the boys. "We have free time not to harass a gardener. Honestly, boys, you should be ashamed. Shoo! Go away!"
"It's like he's chasing off a load of pigeons, not a pack of horny boys." Bill sniffed, clearly amused. "Fucking love this place, there's nothing like it."
"Maybe they'll fly off to be gay somewhere over the rainbow." There was a thought. Hartley took note of the way Bill sniffed. That was a thing, that kind of mannerism. Something about it that just perked his interest. Maybe that was a way of wording it.
Best not to engage too much. He had to focus on why he was doing this nonsense, how he wanted to complete the programme as quickly as possible. Get back to his life. So he just watched as Aziraphale shooed boys around and how the gardener looked baffled, but did step to stand behind Aziraphale. Kind of cute.
"Thanks, but I can handle myself," Crowley said to the angelic boy, amused more than anything.
"Somewhere over the rainbow, queer poofs grind." Bill sang idly as he finished tying up his shoes and stood to his feet, stretching his neck idly as he watched Aziraphale. Then he leaned to the side and spat on the floor. "Poor little blondie, he's gonna have a tough life. You take one look at him, you think 'Christ, there's a nancy boy'."
But that nancy boy didn't seem ashamed of any of himself, just determined in an almost endearing way.
As the boys dispersed, Aziraphale turned to Crowley and smiled. "It's not a problem, my dear boy. These lads are doing themselves a disservice and getting in your way. It's hard conductive to anything." With a smile. Aziraphale looked at Crowley and then reminded himself that he had to behave too. "Good luck with the, uh, the tree-- stuff."
"Thanks for the save." It was quite unnecessary, but Crowley liked to do unnecessary thing when he felt that they were needed. Or at least when they could throw that little kernel of temptation the right way. So he reached for Aziraphale's hand and took a step closer, led his hand up to his lips and placed a kiss to his knuckles, eyes behind the sunglasses focused on Aziraphale's holding his gaze. "I owe you."
With that he released his hand again and Hartley let go of a breath that he didn't know he'd been holding. All right, this was better than some of those fics he had read under his bedsheets before. "Damn." He felt as if he was about to swoon and he'd just been watching. "He is having a tough life. Hard. Very hard."
Aziraphale was stunned for a long time and then he woke himself up and panic shot through him. Oh God, he just let a hot boy kiss his hand. Aziraphale tried to find words but nothing came to him and oh God, the lips, the eyes, the -- oh no, he felt faint. He braced himself and took a deep breathe. "You're welcome." His voice sounded very awkwardly high pitched. Oh dear. "I'm going to -- go."
And with that, he turned around and walked back, clearly stunned.
Bill let a wolf whistle and gave Aziraphale a thumbs up that he tried desperately to ignore. "Good on you, mate!"
"Subditi ergo estote Deo, resistite autem diabolo, et fugiet a vobis." Hartley spoke Latin with a certain casualness to it, having a good grasp of it. He also said it with a great deal of sarcasm in his voice, clearly not actually advising anything from the bible. It was just funny, because laughing at this was easier than despairing. So he gestured. "Look, he's fleeing already."
Or else Crowley was just walking back towards the car. Damn, he did have a nice behind for a guy that slender, Hartley had to admit that. And so did many others, he had no doubt.
"Oh shush, you." Aziraphale huffed as he dropped back on the bench and watched Crowley head to the car, his hand still tingling. Was he supposed to do something? Should he go over and ... be sexy? Could he be sexy? He had no idea. He puzzled for a few moments and then looked down at his feet instead, trying to work out if this was all some cruel joke. Probably. He knew where they were, he was sure Crowley was just having some fun at his expense.
"It will be time... time for chapel soon." They he could apologise to God and try to get new strength and courage.
"Blow it off and go blow him." Bill recommended as he lay back on the grass, looking up at the sky, wondering why it was always dull and grey these days.
"That's sound advice. You should listen to Bill, Aziraphale." Hartley would recommend it. He wondered whether it would even fit. He also wondered what it would be like to do it. He had no experience, of course not. He'd barely ever so much as touched a boy, much less done anything like that. Kiss on the hand was further than he'd ever gotten, so now Aziraphale was officially beyond him, experience-wise. That was depressing. He glanced at Bill, wondering just how experienced he might be.
His face grew heated and he shook his head, wondering whether he'd be able to help Aziraphale out a little. "Just walk over there and help him with getting everything back in the car. I'm sure he'll appreciate it."
"You two are devils. Demons. I don't -- you can't use such crude language!" Aziraphale protested as he watched Crowley put his stuff away. He was struggling but he had just kissed his hand - so clearly, it was dangerous. And he didn't fancy danger. "I couldn't possibly help him."
"Okay, fine, I will." Bill said boldly as he got up and dusted himself off. Aziraphale didn't know if he was bluffing or not but he decided to call it. Big mistake. No, no, no, what was that young thug doing?!"
Bill walked over to Crowley and smiled. "Alright mate, can I give you a hand?"
"Nah, I'm all good." Crowley looked Bill over briefly, having to suppress a smirk. Between the flaming queer he'd just kissed and this rent boy looking twink, how did they actually hope to ever get the gay out of any of these boys? Not that he wanted that to happen, obviously.
Which did make him think. "Actually, could you call your friends over? Bit tricky to fix this stuff to the roof, but I think we'll need a pair of hands more. Or two, whatever."
He leaned back against the car for now, looking over at the two boys Bill had just been with. "You straightening up all right, mate?"
"Gotcha." Bill turned and raised his voice, no shyness in that lad. "OI! You two! Yeah, you two poofters. Come over here!" He gestured at Hartley and Aziraphale and then gestured for them to come and help. Aziraphale was clearly unsure but he got to his feet anyway, never wanting to be accused of being unhelpful.
Bill turned away from his approaching friends and shrugged his shoulders.
"I'm as bent as I ever but it's still better than my current fosters. Just killing time, mate. When I'm 18, I'm free." Bill snorted in amusement and turned to look at his friends coming over. "Can't believe you fucking kissed Aziraphale's hand. And yeah, that's his real fucking name. How sad is that?"
"It's very angelic," Crowley commented, smiling at Aziraphale when he was close enough. "There you are, angel. Can you keep this stable while I fix things?" He waved Aziraphale over and then guided his hand where he needed it on the roof, unnecessarily putting a hand on his waist as he did so.
"I feel a double-standard," Hartley commented drily, highly doubting his presence here was even required. So he just stood there as Crowley finished up, mostly enjoying Aziraphale's discomfort. It was pretty entertaining.
"You want some gum?" Crowley said it casually once they were finished, patting himself down for the pack.
Bill didn't feel especially needed either, he hung back with Hartley, just enjoying the way Crowley flustered the lad. The way he touched his waist needlessly and brushed up the back of him. Christ, he was forward. Someone really wanted to tempt that angel into damnation. Leaning in to Hartley, he spoke close to his ear. "Look how into him he is, it's fucking obvious. Bit dodgy, ain't it?"
Knowing where the poor lad was and all, didn't really seem wholly fair.
Aziraphale finished helping Crowley (though he wasn't sure why it had to be him and how helpful he even was being), he hastily stepped back and all but stared at Crowley with wide, fascinated eyes. "Gum?" Erm. What did he even say? "Yes. Gum would be ... perfection." No. Why? Why that? Anything but that.
"Yeah? Well, glad I can bring you closer to completion then." Crowley put a piece of gum into Aziraphale's palm, then turned to the other two lads, waving them over. "Gum?"
He sized them up quickly, then put his hand into his pocket again and slid a business card into Bill's pocket, as if that was a normal thing to do. "Gum's good for your focus."
Hartley frowned, his ear still tingling from Bill whispering into it, which he decided was simply a side-effect of the hearing aids. Nothing to do with Bill being close, with a whisper being intimate. With this feeling like he'd made a connection.
And in Bill's pocket was a business card for a club not far from there, leading them to temptation.
There was something in his back pocket and Bill didn't move to take it out. Could be locations, could be cash. He'd sucked dick for money before, wouldn't be a biggie. He winked at Crowley and took some gum from him, sticking it in his mouth. "Cheers, mate. We'll see you tomorrow, I guess. You got lots of work to do on the flower beds, they ain't been watered in years." Or they looked that way, at least.
Aziraphale had missed the car slipping, he was focused on how stupid he was and how awful this was and how he was actually glad he was here because he should die alone somewhere, a pathetic virgin, with game as bad as that.
"You--you come back?" Aziraphale blushed even harder. Oh God, how would he survive this temptation?!
"Duh. He's a gardener, you daft sod. They do the gardens." Bill explained as he came over to Hartley and shoved him gently with his shoulders. "Can you believe this soft ol' sod? I heard he was a right smart one. As if. You smarties are dim as all hell."
"Most people are idiots." That was really one of his core philosophies, so Hartley had no issue stating that. He glanced at Bill briefly, just to figure out why exactly he was coming so close to him. He'd no idea. He didn't mind, he just wasn't quite certain what to do with it.
"Yeah, I'm back tomorrow. Flowerbeds, they want fresh flowers for the season. Girls are supposed to pick them? I don't know, mate. Place creeps me out, but I don't pick the contracts." He was just working for the company. Anyway, it was apparently good money. "Anyway, it was nice meeting you, lads. Angel." He gave an extra nod to Aziraphale, smiling just for him. "Come over tomorrow. I want to show you something by the apple tree."
"He can, he'll be there." Bill assured him because he couldn't imagine that Aziraphale would stand up Crowley and if he did, Bill wouldn't let him. He might get a good fucking before he had to go back to Christian hell so why not let the devil play?
"It was very nice meeting you." Aziraphale waved and then realised how weird it was to wave and instead, put his hands in his pockets. As Aziraphale made an ass of himself, Bill turned around and pulled the business card from Crowley's pocket with a frown. Hang on a fucking minute. He turned around to say something but Crowley was already in the car, music up. Fucking hell - it was the card to a gay bar.
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Quite the opposite, really. "Wow. Phil definitely just copped a feel."
Good on Phil, he supposed. The gardener's expression was difficult to read with the sunglasses on, but at least he seemed to be remaining somewhat cool.
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"Yeah, they can. It's easy. He's making it real easy." Bill remarked as he leaned back and watched the boys swarming him. Then he tilted his head, watching Aziraphale. God, that boy was pent up. And getting stressed out at the way the boys were all over Crowley. Cute. "Someone should go over there and save the poor man."
There was a bit of silences and then Aziraphale sighed and rolled up his sleeves. "Well, if no one else will, I will."
Aziraphale marched forward on a mission and came over, trying not to look at Crowley as he started to wave his arms at the boys. "We have free time not to harass a gardener. Honestly, boys, you should be ashamed. Shoo! Go away!"
"It's like he's chasing off a load of pigeons, not a pack of horny boys." Bill sniffed, clearly amused. "Fucking love this place, there's nothing like it."
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Best not to engage too much. He had to focus on why he was doing this nonsense, how he wanted to complete the programme as quickly as possible. Get back to his life. So he just watched as Aziraphale shooed boys around and how the gardener looked baffled, but did step to stand behind Aziraphale. Kind of cute.
"Thanks, but I can handle myself," Crowley said to the angelic boy, amused more than anything.
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But that nancy boy didn't seem ashamed of any of himself, just determined in an almost endearing way.
As the boys dispersed, Aziraphale turned to Crowley and smiled. "It's not a problem, my dear boy. These lads are doing themselves a disservice and getting in your way. It's hard conductive to anything." With a smile. Aziraphale looked at Crowley and then reminded himself that he had to behave too. "Good luck with the, uh, the tree-- stuff."
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With that he released his hand again and Hartley let go of a breath that he didn't know he'd been holding. All right, this was better than some of those fics he had read under his bedsheets before. "Damn." He felt as if he was about to swoon and he'd just been watching. "He is having a tough life. Hard. Very hard."
Those pants really were sinfully tight.
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And with that, he turned around and walked back, clearly stunned.
Bill let a wolf whistle and gave Aziraphale a thumbs up that he tried desperately to ignore. "Good on you, mate!"
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Or else Crowley was just walking back towards the car. Damn, he did have a nice behind for a guy that slender, Hartley had to admit that. And so did many others, he had no doubt.
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"It will be time... time for chapel soon." They he could apologise to God and try to get new strength and courage.
"Blow it off and go blow him." Bill recommended as he lay back on the grass, looking up at the sky, wondering why it was always dull and grey these days.
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His face grew heated and he shook his head, wondering whether he'd be able to help Aziraphale out a little. "Just walk over there and help him with getting everything back in the car. I'm sure he'll appreciate it."
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"Okay, fine, I will." Bill said boldly as he got up and dusted himself off. Aziraphale didn't know if he was bluffing or not but he decided to call it. Big mistake. No, no, no, what was that young thug doing?!"
Bill walked over to Crowley and smiled. "Alright mate, can I give you a hand?"
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Which did make him think. "Actually, could you call your friends over? Bit tricky to fix this stuff to the roof, but I think we'll need a pair of hands more. Or two, whatever."
He leaned back against the car for now, looking over at the two boys Bill had just been with. "You straightening up all right, mate?"
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Bill turned away from his approaching friends and shrugged his shoulders.
"I'm as bent as I ever but it's still better than my current fosters. Just killing time, mate. When I'm 18, I'm free." Bill snorted in amusement and turned to look at his friends coming over. "Can't believe you fucking kissed Aziraphale's hand. And yeah, that's his real fucking name. How sad is that?"
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"I feel a double-standard," Hartley commented drily, highly doubting his presence here was even required. So he just stood there as Crowley finished up, mostly enjoying Aziraphale's discomfort. It was pretty entertaining.
"You want some gum?" Crowley said it casually once they were finished, patting himself down for the pack.
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Knowing where the poor lad was and all, didn't really seem wholly fair.
Aziraphale finished helping Crowley (though he wasn't sure why it had to be him and how helpful he even was being), he hastily stepped back and all but stared at Crowley with wide, fascinated eyes. "Gum?" Erm. What did he even say? "Yes. Gum would be ... perfection." No. Why? Why that? Anything but that.
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He sized them up quickly, then put his hand into his pocket again and slid a business card into Bill's pocket, as if that was a normal thing to do. "Gum's good for your focus."
Hartley frowned, his ear still tingling from Bill whispering into it, which he decided was simply a side-effect of the hearing aids. Nothing to do with Bill being close, with a whisper being intimate. With this feeling like he'd made a connection.
And in Bill's pocket was a business card for a club not far from there, leading them to temptation.
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Aziraphale had missed the car slipping, he was focused on how stupid he was and how awful this was and how he was actually glad he was here because he should die alone somewhere, a pathetic virgin, with game as bad as that.
"You--you come back?" Aziraphale blushed even harder. Oh God, how would he survive this temptation?!
"Duh. He's a gardener, you daft sod. They do the gardens." Bill explained as he came over to Hartley and shoved him gently with his shoulders. "Can you believe this soft ol' sod? I heard he was a right smart one. As if. You smarties are dim as all hell."
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"Yeah, I'm back tomorrow. Flowerbeds, they want fresh flowers for the season. Girls are supposed to pick them? I don't know, mate. Place creeps me out, but I don't pick the contracts." He was just working for the company. Anyway, it was apparently good money. "Anyway, it was nice meeting you, lads. Angel." He gave an extra nod to Aziraphale, smiling just for him. "Come over tomorrow. I want to show you something by the apple tree."
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"He can, he'll be there." Bill assured him because he couldn't imagine that Aziraphale would stand up Crowley and if he did, Bill wouldn't let him. He might get a good fucking before he had to go back to Christian hell so why not let the devil play?
"It was very nice meeting you." Aziraphale waved and then realised how weird it was to wave and instead, put his hands in his pockets. As Aziraphale made an ass of himself, Bill turned around and pulled the business card from Crowley's pocket with a frown. Hang on a fucking minute. He turned around to say something but Crowley was already in the car, music up. Fucking hell - it was the card to a gay bar.