Newt laughed. "Of course they won't." Why would they hit on him? He was short, awkward, nerdy and his glasses had tape on them. Most people just called him Harry Potter or Jeffery Dahmer and treated him like the biggest loser in the world and he ... he was secretly kind of happy about it. No one called him anything girly so how was that not a great win? Like seriously, it was so cool to be bullied for being a dorky guy.

"I mean, I'd love to meet someone, it would be nice. Even a one night stand but, well, I'm so bad at talking to people so I'll never get laid." He had to give disclaimers and it was always a disaster.