"No but that's just the way it is. To suffer is to be close to Christ." Aziraphale informed Holden wisely but he didn't fully understand what he said, he just said it because that's what they always said to him. He swallowed nervously and the reality that he was probably never going home was starting to sink in. He was never going home.

His hands started to tremble and his eyes welled up suddenly.

He didn't know if he even felt sad, the person he spend the most time with was Barty and he was here but suddenly there was change. Scary change. He was moving and he couldn't ever go to his room and read in his little corner. He was banished. And all cause he did something really bad. And suddenly, breathing was hard and he ducked his head. He choked out a sob, the reality starting to sink in. He was bad and got Barty in trouble and now they were never, ever going home.