"Please, Crowley, please. Don't make me do it again. I don't want to do it again." He closed his eyes, as if he could make it go away, it was bad enough to do it once but twice? He didn't want to lose him, he wanted to take his hand but he couldn't. What would he even do? It was too much, it was too fast, just like last time. Crowley wanted too much.

"I have -- I have someone. We live together..." They did from the day of the mission on so it was just how it was. They kept the routine, played 'house', as Dallen joked. It wasn't perfect but it was enough.

"You can do better and... please, stop this." He didn't want to cry. He didn't.