"No, I really did trip over myself..." Which was more embarrassing because if he had intentionally faked it, he could have had the pride of being cunning and may have angled himself away from the mud when he fell. Now his shirt was dirty and he was feeling quite sheepish. The coach supervising had blown his whistle at him three times to get off the pitch.

Aziraphale exhaled with relief and tried to clean himself off.

"I'm not sporty..." Aziraphale clarified. "I doubt I ever will be."

Maybe he could lose the gay, maybe he could love a woman, maybe he could have kids but he could not, in any universe, be a sportsman. "That I can't change."